When Stories Hold the Hard Things: Using Books to Navigate Big Feelings

 

When Stories Hold the Hard Things: Using Books to Navigate Big Feelings

By Katie Jones, Editor | The Young Listener’s Chronicle

 

There is a moment every parent knows. Your child stands before you, trembling with a feeling so vast it seems to swallow them whole—a cyclone of anger, a flood of tears, a freeze of anxiety. In that moment, our instinct is to talk. To explain, to soothe, to fix. But often, words fail us. Our logic meets their storm, and neither finds a way through.

 

This is where a story can become a bridge.

 

For generations, wise parents and educators have used tales as tools to explore landscapes too dangerous or complex for a child to enter alone. A story doesn’t lecture a child about fear; it gives them a character to walk beside through a dark forest. It doesn’t scold about selfishness; it lets them witness the loneliness of a creature who hoards everything. In the safe territory of “once upon a time,” a child can process the very real “here and now.”

 This is more than a nice idea—it’s the core of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL), and narrative is one of its most powerful vehicles.

 Why Stories Work: The Safety of the Third Person

When emotions run high, direct confrontation often triggers defensiveness. A story provides what psychologists call psychological distance. The problem isn’t yours, it’s the character’s. This distance allows a child to observe, reflect, and problem-solve without the weight of personal shame or immediate consequence.

 

Reading about a furious Sophie in Sophie’s Squash by Pat Zietlow Miller (who channels her anger into caring for a vegetable) lets a child see anger transformed. It’s not their anger on display, so they can consider it calmly. “Sophie was so cross she could spit!” you can say. “I wonder what that feels like in your body?” The conversation starts sideways, and thus, more safely.

 Building Your "First Aid Kit" of Feelings Books

Think of your bookshelf as an emotional toolkit. You don’t need a book for every specific scenario, but a few well-chosen ones for core feelings can be lifesavers. Here’s how to curate for heart as well as mind:

 For Worry & Anxiety:

 For the Youngest: The Hugasaurus by Rachel Bright and Chris Chatterton perfectly captures the overwhelm of a busy, noisy world and the calming power of a simple, deep breath and connection.

 For Growing Minds: The Cat and the King by Nick Sharratt is a masterful, funny look at navigating new and intimidating situations, showing that anxiety often lives alongside excitement.

 For Anger & Frustration:

 Ravi’s Roar by Tom Percival. When Ravi feels small and ignored, he turns into a roaring tiger. This book brilliantly visualises the size of big feelings and the relief of finding your way back to yourself.

 The Squirrels Who Squabbled by Rachel Bright and Jim Field. A hilarious, rhythmic tale about the folly of fighting, ending with the shared joy of cooperation.

 For Sadness & Loss:

This requires the most delicate touch. Look for stories that don’t offer cheap solutions but sit with the feeling, offering comfort and hope.

 The Girl Who Became Untethered by Joules Young is a profound, metaphorical exploration of grief and displacement. Its poetic journey—drifting away after a storm, seeing the world from afar, and the slow, brave choice to anchor somewhere new—offers a stunning visual language for loss and rebuilding. It doesn’t preach; it paints a feeling, allowing a child to find their own reflection in its beautiful, aching skies.

 Grandad’s Island by Benji Davies. A gentle, stunningly illustrated story about missing someone, framed as a wonderful adventure to a secret island. It’s all about love that continues beyond goodbye.

 For Kindness & Empathy:

 Look Up! by Nathan Bryon and Dapo Adeola. The joyous story of Rocket, who is so passionate about the solar eclipse that she manages to lift her big brother’s gaze from his phone and bring her whole community together. It’s a celebration of passion and its power to connect us.

 How to Read an "Emotions" Book: It's All in the Pause

The magic isn’t just in the reading, but in the talking. When you see a character experiencing a big feeling, pause.

 Ask observational questions: “Look at his face. How do you think he feels here?”

 

Make connections: “Has there ever been a time you felt your tummy do flip-flops like that?”

 Wonder about solutions: “What could she try next? What would you do?”

 After the story, leave the door open: “That was a big adventure for [character]. We can always read it again if you’d like.”

 Sometimes, you won’t talk at all. The story will do its work silently. A child might simply snuggle closer at the scary part or sigh with relief at the end. That is its own profound conversation.

 When You Can't Find the Words, Let a Storyteller Help

There are also times when our own voices are tired, or a story from another voice can land differently. This is where quality audio storytelling shines. A well-told audio story can be a shared emotional experience in its own right. The Hocksbox universe (hocksbox.co.uk), for instance, features stories like those from Joules Young that are crafted with this emotional resonance in mind. Listening to The Girl Who Became Untethered together, carried by the narrator’s voice, can create a shared, contemplative space to just feel, without the pressure of immediate discussion.

 Stories won’t prevent the storms of childhood. But they can provide a sturdy boat, a trusted map, and the reassuring company of characters who have sailed these waters before. They tell our children, in the kindest way possible: You are not the first to feel this. You are not alone. And see? There is a way through.

 Does your family have a "go-to" book that helps soothe a particular worry or temper? Please share your emotional first-aid kit titles in the comments below.

 With care,

Katie

 

Next time, we’ll look at the journey beyond picture books: how to choose your first chapter book for read-aloud, and the unique magic of stepping into a longer story together.